Escaping the U.S.: My journey to becoming a nomad in Europe

Sunset view from an airplane - photo by author

I left the U.S. at the end of 2017 and have been living as a nomad in Europe ever since. Over the years many people have asked me how they can live abroad. Their inquiry is often followed by their anxiety over where U.S. politics are headed. They want to escape, and they think somewhere else might be better.

First off, the word escape gets a bad rap. Escaping isn’t actually bad, sometimes it’s necessary. There are situations where it’s crucial to remove yourself, like an unhealthy relationship or work environment. Maybe your neighborhood isn’t safe. And perhaps the unsafeness extends beyond the neighborhood?

Living in the U.S. there are things that affect us both directly and indirectly. For example, I’ve been directly affected economically after having two major surgeries in the U.S. I later learned I could’ve saved thousands if I’d gone to Europe or Mexico for the same operations. There are also issues of women’s rights which may directly impact me. But mostly I am indirectly impacted by the issues in the U.S., gun violence (especially school shootings), the loss of abortion rights, inflation, the ballooning homeless population, the scary division between the right and left, to name a few.

When I first left for Europe in 2017, Trump was in his first year in office. That wasn’t the reason I left, but it did make me feel better about leaving on a philosophical level. Every week of Trump’s presidency was another fucked-up tweet or new thing he did that was either embarrassing or destructive. {Author note: Shortly after Trump was elected for a second term I wrote this essay as a way for me to process the grief and helplessness I felt at the time.} I remember a few friends reaching out to me back then wanting to figure out how they could leave. But can you leave, really?

Airport people mover - photo by author

While nomading in Europe, I stay connected to friends and family in the U.S. through social media and consequently I stay connected to the never-ending stream of social media land. I watch the destruction from afar filtered through Facebook and Instagram. I hear about more frequent school shootings, I learn of more and more black Americans shot by police. I also saw the Black Lives Matter movement emerge. And witnessed the rise of the #MeToo movement.

Over the years I have managed to stay away from the U.S., but I can’t say I’ve done a great job of escaping.

If people want to leave because of the U.S. government, you also have to look at other governments. No place is perfect. You know where you’re leaving, but where are you going? What you might find is that you’re trading one challenge for another. There’s a wave of conservativism sweeping many countries right now. There are many countries’ governments that have very strict policies against immigrants. England, for example, has a Hostile Environment Policy toward non-UK citizens, and people can be turned away from the border at the agent’s discretion. I have my own personal story with this, as I almost wasn’t let in. But I’ll save that story for another time.

European airport - photo by author

There are countries with authoritarian leaders. Countries that were closed off for long periods of time may be behind on certain aspects of human rights. There are places that are challenging to live if you’re LGBTQ + or if you’re a person of color or if you’re a woman or if you’re disabled and the list goes on. My experience as a woman and person of color living in Europe has been great. However, I do stand out. With the exception of Portugal and Morocco, I look like a foreigner in most places. It’s important to research places beforehand to make sure they will work for me. There are some places I love and would consider living longer term, but I’m not fond of their governments, like Hungary for instance. If I did get a visa to live in Hungary, the government and politics would not directly impact me, however it would indirectly affect me because I would see the situation through the eyes of my Hungarian friends who are stuck with an authoritarian leader. [Author’s Note: This essay was originally written in January, 2025 when Orban was in power. The recent election of Peter Magyar gives all of us hope that Hungary is headed in a new direction.]

My emphasis is that there is no perfect place politically or otherwise. Even leaving the U.S., I couldn’t escape from it. Or maybe I could if I completely fell off the grid, no social media, no TV, no phone, go completely analogue. Hmm, not necessarily a bad idea. But, being indirectly impacted, as much as it feels bad, it’s a beautiful thing. It means I care about others beyond myself. It’s why I get sad or angry when there’s war and killing going on in another country. Or that sadness I feel when I encounter homeless people on the street. That hurt in my heart is my empathy. I should hopefully never want to get away from that. It’s what makes me human. Imagine for a moment that your neighbor next door was like family, and they were having some kind of trouble. If you could, would you help? Now imagine if the entire block was made up of close friends and family. Maybe the friends and family extend into the next city, the next country, continent, the whole world. What if the entire world was made up of our family and friends?

If it’s not escape, what else could it be? In Buddhist philosophy there is something called Aversion, which is to push something away. I don’t like X, so I push it as far away from myself as I can, whatever X is. Unfortunately, the thing I push away has a way of returning. Instead of ‘escaping’, maybe there’s another way to look at leaving? What if rather than an escape from the U.S. it was a letting go of something? What if travel offered an exploration into a new way of looking at where I’m from? What I’ve found is that nothing is all bad. Even though I have a ton of criticism of the U.S., there is a long list of things I miss: family, friends, places that are attached to memories and my personal history, certain foods, certain accents, a particular kind of ease and familiarity, and a whole lot more.

aerial view from plane from Budapest to England - photo by author

A few things I’ve learned from traveling and living abroad is that the perception of the U.S. is different from a distance. Especially with the help of my new friends in other countries as I try to see the world through their eyes. The U.S. is also a country with one of the biggest global impacts, I knew that before, but living abroad has shown me that in a more profound way.

Of course, not everyone can travel to Europe or Internationally. It’s a privilege, even for most Americans. Escaping the U.S. or fulfilling a travel dream is not a possibility for everyone. But if you have the means and the desire it’s a life-changing thing.

Being a U.S. citizen is another form of privilege. My early travel experiences to Mexico and South America showed me that. I also felt my U.S. privilege in Europe around language. Everyone in Europe seems to speak several languages, including English, and in a large group of Europeans from different countries, the language everyone speaks in a mixed group is English.

After almost seven years as a nomad, I’ve had the chance to return to several countries and cities. I’ve seen and experienced places change. Valencia, Spain, I’ve seen get more expensive and more crowded over six and a half years. Some of my Spanish friends can’t afford to buy a new apartment because everything has gone up in price. One of my expat friends in Split, Croatia complains about the overcrowding in the summers from overtourism. One of the sad facts is that places that I love, other people also love and before I know it places that were under the radar, get discovered. Governments also change. One political party will be in power for a while and then a completely different one will be voted in (or put in). When settling in one place I think it’s a good idea to understand that places will change over time and it’s not always easy to predict how.

After many years as a nomad, I still can’t completely escape some of the things that bug me about the U.S., but I can let go of a lot. Remembering that everything is impermanent helps a little. In the beginning of my travels, it helped me to have an intention more than just to leave. So, when I left the U.S., I explored ideas of redefining what home and family meant. It hasn’t always been easy. Leaving one’s country is never easy, but it can be incredibly rewarding. Someone asked me once, “Are you running to something or are you running away from something?” Any big decision I’ve made, whether moving to another country or something else, it’s always a great question to ask. Running to, running from? For me it’s probably a bit of both. And I think there’s even something in between that I’m still creating and discovering.

Written by Roxanne

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